“I’ve come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a parent or teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized.”
-Dr. Haim Ginott
The above words put in a nutshell all that I have realized after having Dhyan. Growing up, I have had so many influences but the major (in ways, I could say ‘only’) influence was my parents. With Dhyan, I am the major influence. It is shocking to me at times – How my mood, opinions, words, gestures dictates his days! Honestly, I don’t do a good job, yet. I apologize and tell him that I will do better every time I feel I wronged him. Here are my three most important tips to become better parents:
1. Earlier I used to try to focus on one tantrum or power struggle at a time like when he is throwing food or resisting diaper change. I know better now. It is all about connection. The more the connection between parent & kid – lesser the tantrums/ power struggles. Make sure they know that they come first. That they can fully trust you and you will keep your promises. Let them know they deserve respect.
2. And the next is acceptance and living in the moment. Kids do this beautifully. It helps a lot to learn this when parenting. Let go of the past or the anxieties about the future, rejoice and savor every moment. When we do that, according to me, we naturally become more involved , more listening, more present for our kid which makes us better parents.
3. Be cool as a cucumber – Focus on important stuff, important people and Let go anything and everything you cant change. Keep smiling. Take it easy. Be calm, positive, fearless, motivating and encouraging.
Was this helpful?
Great link about connection for further reading – http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/connection/building-relationship