Dhyan @ 2.5 +
WOW… Just WOW …
An incident at the Kellerfest last Friday.
Someone bend down to Dhyan’s level and was eying him lovingly
She was like ‘Will you have more kids?’
Me chuckling ‘I don’t think so’
She – ‘Awww. He is so cute..’
Me – ‘Thanks’ smilingly…
Life felt so controlled, meaningless before Dhyan’s arrival. My life took a beautiful, meaningful turn and I started owning my life only after he came. Life without purpose sucks, right? He helped me, keeps on helping me find my long awaited belonging. I feel like I need to LIVE my life the fullest – show him that Life is indeed beautiful, simple & straight forward. He is in a way my real mother – he made me the person I am – to accept and become aware of myself & my life – he made me brave & clearheaded 🙂 That’s how I refer him sometimes – my amma. I am still a long way away from becoming a good mom for Dhyan – but I am constantly trying & learning & focusing on living in the moment – my incredibly beautiful present. He will be our only biological kid. I strongly believe families have nothing to do with blood – so let’s see…
Dhyan still looks so little to me. But his alertness, awareness, responsiveness are worlds away. His expressions, stares are OMG. Do you how he vents his frustrations – he cries out if he is cranky but other times he tries to give himself a timeout by running away from us, staying silent & just brooding 😉 He just keeps repeating monotonously in a pleading, chanting tone ‘amma amma’ pitiably when he needs me. It is so humbling… He loves outdoors, exploring the world & observing people – he has always been like that. But these days he doesn’t want to go home – he starts fighting as soon as he realizes I am taking a turn towards home 😀 He can reach anywhere these days & is playing recklessly these days. It is becoming harder to keep him safe. He means the world to me. Hope I didn’t crush him or let anyone do! I am constantly making sure of that. Please forgive me for my mistakes. Hope you know that you are the best – never change for anyone.
I am trying hard to be nice – be kind yet firm. I was struggling, I think I am getting better but I have my days – I am so hoping those days don’t undermine my love for him or change his attitude about himself and me.
A couple changes –
- I wont be doing half week updates anymore , since I have it in control . I plan to do What we ate/ did today posts with lots of pictures once in a while .
- I am unable to unplug as promised. I haven’t started reading yet but that’s fine – BTW, I decided on a diff. book – “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” – hoping it will help me. I have started unplugging an hour each day – it has been working out well so far. Slowly I may increase the duration – but not for now. I do keep using my pocket note and pen, though.
- I am planning to revise the recipes with exact measurements as much as possible – especially the important ones. Also make sure I have included how to edit the recipe for Dhyan.
- I am still learning & trying to figure out how to treat Dhyan my best. I will post about it in a couple days and then again in a month.
- Birds are coming to our Bird feeder . Actually I changed the place. I remembered that it needs to be moving – it should be in a area where there is a lot of wind. It worked . Do you think birds communicate with each other when they find a new, trusted source of food? We are seeing different types of birds. They are running away. I couldn’t snap a picture. I guess they are still not fully trusting us yet ;p We are considering a window film. This new location is close to our coffee table. We rejoice looking at the birds as we eat – awesome right? I am so happy. I am not sure if birds are coming to our bird bath. Have to keep noticing. EDIT -managed to click one this morning. Also recorded a video – https://youtu.be/dJxnYsG8Qa0
- Life just finds a way. Those are tomato seedlings. Awesome right? I am not seeing any cucumber seedlings yet. But I am taking care of them. Lets see… It’s amazing that Dhyan can visibly see new life coming out of seeds he helped planted. I am enjoying gardening & yard work. I have been trimming the trees & plants as and when I can around our yard. I did hurt myself but I am learning and will continue it.
- My hubby because of my pestering has been working on a Kitchen helper stool for Dhyan. Will post a update later.
I think that’s it. See ya!