Just a personal note – I have always hated when people use fear to get things done. It took me a while to understand and recognize manipulation of all sorts – definitely a put off. Not to mention the worst repercussions – it affects the dignity, creativity, trust, and whatnot! I am realizing how paramount it is that we stay honest and loyal to our feelings and express our opinions and how important it is in relationships.
Dhyan is a living proof that positive discipline works – the only thing that works. It takes
some a lot of patience. But when you yell or scare or control your kid, you feel guilty – it spoils your day – it affects your peace of mind. Positive discipline may be hard but it’s well worth it. All are happy and your kids thrive – just as they are intended to grow in a positive and loving environment.
Dhyan was resisting nap bigtime. Actually I didn’t force initially and let him stay awake but around 4 PM or later he used to get really cranky – you can read one such episodes here – https://youareenteringmymind.wordpress.com/2017/04/14/a-beautiful-day-ruined-by-a-tiny-slip-up/ . It was bad. Then I started coaxing or pleading to make him nap – I know it was wrong but I was doing it. It may have worked but I didn’t like how I felt after doing it. How could I do that to my son ? Here I am – slowly fixing things …
- I sat with Dhyan and together we created the above nap chart
- I tire him out in the mornings – we get out mostly. Then close to naptime, we go through the chart and do one by one – I make sure he eats well and is not thirsty. I check if he needs a diaper change.
- We read books on the bed – I read to his heart’s content
- We play with our fingers – basic addition for now
- He turns on the tower fan using the remote
- Then I ask him to lie down – if he resists I remind him gently that we follow the chart. He doesn’t have to sleep and that we both lie down holding hands. If he still resists, I tell him that he can lie down either in the crib or bed – only 2 choices. He hates crib and will only choose bed. We will lie down holding hands and I will get comfortable and really try to sleep. He will keep rolling , smiling but will stay in bed. If he stays awake for 1/2 hr (I have timer in our tower fan – That’s how I know) or more , I will let him go or else he will be fast asleep by then. In the former case, I will be happy that he got his quiet time , he will sleep around 7. In the latter case , he will go to bed around 9.