Hey, yesterday I ranted about stuff that has been bothering me. I have one more thing – Dhyan’s power struggles! I know I know it’s age-appropriate but I am highly unskilled in handling it! I need to be trained exhaustively !! Dhyan is miserable in my hands!
When I think about it, the major areas we are having power struggles are related to brushing (both teeth & hair), flossing, eating and washing off his poop! I want to start the night-time brushing too – someday 😉 I am going to ignore the others for now , they are minor anyways. A minor one that has been resolved today – He has really dry , cracked, bleeding lips – He wouldn’t let me apply coconut oil on it. I do it when he is asleep 🙂
Albeit I want to focus one at a time, I am going to try to work at resolving both Eating power struggle and the Play thing of yesterday’s. They go hand in hand right ? Eat well – play well and vice versa (and also sleep well)!Hoping it will help my mood immensely!
Let me explain what happens these days – He gets hungry often and nibbles on something hurriedly before he gets hungry again which happens very soon! I force him to sit & eat and give him some fatty food (virgin coconut oil, evoo, avocado, hemp ) and make him finish it – in front of YouTube videos. I am ashamed but I have to agree that I use coaxing, yelling or whatnot! I don’t want to say any more. But in the end, we are all unhappy!
I wish my son was fat and tall! I guess I will be more inclined to not force him to finish any food or make him a different meal (with more good fats) than ours. He is on the thinner side – I love him just as he is but I have been forcing him a lot. And I am getting worse!
He wants to be treated like a gentleman – which he is already! I am going to attempt a lot of changes – I know already that the changes will bring about great positive results. I am sincerely hoping that my son will not lose weight!
A quick googling ‘positive disciplining your kid to eat’ yielded me some great results. I didn’t even go to the second page. I will try to share some good links.
To sum up, the major changes I am implementing right away –
- I decide WHAT,WHEN,WHERE aspect of the food and he decides HOW MUCH and WHETHER of eating ….
- WHAT – I choose the meal – NO CHOICE for Dhyan – He can choose among the choices present. The meal will be more Dhyan friendly.
- WHEN – There will be set times – He cant keep eating all day! If he asks for food, I will say that an hour is left or whatever. If he leaves eating less or nothing, I will gently remind him that he cant have food until … I will be firm! I am planning a meal every 2 hours, slowly I will make it 3 – I am fine sticking to 2 hours for one or two years. I am going to use my phone timer. I will alternate meal with snack. If Dhyan leaves early, we finish eating and only then leave the table.
- WHERE – At home in our dining table on his booster seat – he cant walk/run and eat or be carried and fed or eat in front of TV. We all sit and eat. I am fine if he wants to be fed when seated. All the food will be at the center of the table. He will be sitting at the provided high chair, if at restaurant.
- We all eat together. Eating is going to be an enjoyable event – something to be look forward to. We will all chat happily and eat. No phones/books/TV or any distractions while eating. I am hoping hubby will join us at least for dinners during weekdays. Weekends, he will be with us during all meals.
- IMPORTANT TWO WORDS – DONT INTERFERE! Don’t give him any attention. put food on the table and leave him alone for God sakes! Let them serve themselves or ask! No forcing – No bribing – No controlling – No nagging – No threats – no fighting – no pressuring – no comments about eating habits. I have reinforced this point more than enough I guess. Not for you but for me- Very hard to control myself!!!If he spills its okay! Put the plastic sheet under the table.
- Everybody eats the same thing!
- If they demand a different dish , say you will make it another day and do it.
- Don’t feed him junk no matter what!
Some other great points, which I may not be focusing on at this point
- Involve him meal planning and preparation and other ways setting table – cleaning up after …
- Use placemats & utensils
- hefty breakfast
I will mostly log them all for a few days going forth. Wish me luck! I will also report on his weight gain(hopefully)!
Tomorrow activities planned –
- 10 AM Soccer class
- Play @ Central market park – gotta buy and make vegan raw ice cream sandwich 🙂
- I am planning to show him life cycle of frog in this YouTube video – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIXoJYbBls0. He was very happy to read about butterfly’s lifecycle from the library book. I will let you know if he likes this too…
Tomorrow meals planned –
- Any ripe fruits on countertop&lemon sevai @ 8
- Snack – Hemp seeds , cacao, goji & raisins @ 10
- Onion uthappam & coconut chutney @ 12
- Snack – Almonds,Cashews & Dates@ 2 (hoping a nap)
- Sathumaavu with saffron & hemp milk @ 4
- Snack Icecream sandwich @ 6
- Last meal – chapatti aloo matar @ 8 phew!
After putting this meal plan, I am more and more feeling happy & confident that this will all work out. And my son will put some healthy & happy weight 🙂